Always Look a Gift Horse in the Mouth - tagalogue

Written by Peter Lefcourt (excerpts from the episode belong to him)

Lee walked up behind Amanda. "So, she said I was cute," he remarked with a smug grin.

"She was under a lot of pressure," Amanda retorted as she turned to look at him.

"Amanda," he gently scolded, but didn't look at her, "when you're undercover it is not good procedure to look at me until the assignment is officially over." She sighed and looked forward again, and he continued. "Does the, uh, princess know you're working with us?"

"No, but I had to come up with a reason why you were outside my window last night," she replied, waving as the limousine drove away and pretending to not be associated with Lee.

Lee also put up the pretense of nonchalance. "So, what did you come up with?"

"I didn't come up with anything, she did." She waved as the car drove away.

"Okay, what did she come up with?" He smiled and waved to continue their act.

"She thinks we're having a thing."

"A thing?" He looked at her in disbelief but couldn't help the grin that tugged at the corners of his mouth.

"Eyes straight ahead, Scarecrow." She tried to sound firm, but found it hard to hold her own grin in check. When he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, she knew it was hopeless, and a smile came to her lips.

His grin widened, and once the cars were gone, he turned to face her. He tried to imagine what was going through her mind at that moment, and as he looked at her face, images of her at the embassy party floated through his own mind. He'd have to be blind not to have noticed how stunning she looked, and he had to force himself to remain professional. If truth be told, he enjoyed dancing around the reality of their working relationship, and his mind had played with the idea of going further more than once. In fact...

"You're looking at me, Scarecrow." Her voice interrupted his thoughts. "Does that mean the assignment's over?"

"Uh, yeah!" he answered a little too hastily, embarrassed that she caught him staring.

"In that case, I think it's time we got a few things straight."

He was taken back by her brusque tone. "Get a few things straight? Like what?"

"Well, your manners, for one."

"My manners?" he exclaimed incredulously. "What's wrong with my manners?"

"Well," she began as she ticked off each one on her fingers, "you insist that we not talk face to face, you never offer a greeting when you call, you disappear without any notice, and you leave me to explain why I'm standing there talking to myself." She paused and took a breath. "And that's just for starters!"

A small spark of indignation at being taken to task rose within him, and he faced her with both barrels loaded. "I already explained that when you're working undercover, it's standard procedure that you not give away any evidence of being involved with us. As for my phone manners, you always seem to be doing a million different things when I do call, so I just get right to the point." He stopped and crossed his arms loosely across his chest as he allowed a grin to form on his lips. "By the way, how *do* you explain me when I call?"

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

Amanda watched him intently as he explained himself and found it very hard to keep a straight face. She thought about what she had said to Penelope about him. No, I could never get involved with someone in that line of work. It would be too dangerous. Penelope's reply wasn't something to be forgotten either. Sometimes dangerous can be fun! She didn't know if she could classify working with Lee as fun, but it certainly was interesting. Penelope was right. He sure was easy to look at. There were even times she'd entertained thoughts of what it would be like to get involved with him on more than a professional level.

"Well?"

Lee's question interrupted her thoughts, and she frantically searched her mind to recall what he had just asked. "How do I explain you? It's sure not easy," she replied as she schooled her features and assumed her 'scolding mother' tone of voice. "Do you think I like sneaking around, being forced to listen to her tell me how much I'm hurting Dean, lying to my mother about where I am at all hours of the day and night, leading her to believe I'm having an affair?" She saw the teasing grin on his face and continued without missing a beat. "And wipe that silly grin off your face. This is no laughing matter."

For a moment, Lee looked like he was trying to decide if she was really serious. She fought to keep a straight face, but he saw it, and that only made him smile more. "Aw, come on, Amanda, lighten up, will ya? You *are* lying and sneaking out to spend time with me. So, what's the problem with people thinking you're having an affair?"

"It's a big deal!" she retorted.

"Well, it's better than admitting you're a spy," he pointed out.

She sighed and nodded, barely managing to conceal the teasing from her voice. "That's right, I'm one of us," she said, mimicking the tone she used the first time she said it and tossing his words back at him.

He sighed and rolled his eyes. "I knew I would regret saying that."

She clucked her tongue and chucked him under the chin. "Gotcha!" she said with a grin as she walked past him, feeling his eyes on her back as she walked away. Penelope was right. Sometimes dangerous *can* be fun, especially when keeping a certain agent on his toes.

(THE END)

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