Screen Captures Courtesy of Swoopes

For personal use and select distribution only © February 2002 by Amber Stockton

Unfinished Business - tagalogue

Written by Lynne Kelsey (excerpts from the episode belong to her)

 

Lee stood at the graves of his parents and heard Amanda's footsteps before she stopped behind him and touched his arm. Somehow, he just knew it was her.

"Hi."

He turned to look at her. "Hi."

"I hope you don't mind. I called, and you weren't at the office and you weren't at home, so I figured you'd be here."

He glanced down at the flowers in her hand, then back at her, his gaze softening as he looked down into her beautiful face. "No, not at all."

"I grew these in the garden."

"Thank you, they're very pretty," he remarked, then watched as she stepped in front of him and bent to place them on the graves. "I haven't been by here in a long time, somehow it always seemed easier to stay away, but now..." He spread his arms out in a helpless gesture, not really knowing how to put his thoughts into words.

She took his left hand in both of hers and lightly caressed it as he silently contemplated everything he had learned about his parents and their death in the past few days, then her right hand moved to touch his back below his left shoulder.

"I'm going to leave you alone now." She turned to leave.

He quickly turned and clasped her hands in his and gave her a nervous smile. "No, don't go."

The uncertainty about everything nearly overwhelmed him, but her presence gave him the comfort he needed at a time like this. He could see the understanding reflected in her eyes and almost breathed a sigh of relief, but managed to simply release his breath calmly. Amazed and grateful that she had stood by his side through it all, he sighed and turned head to look down at the graves.

"I sure wish you could have known them," he murmured with regret.

She glanced up at him. He felt the pull of her gaze, beckoning him to turn his head back to her once more. "I think I do," she replied with a tender smile, then shook her head and leaned forward to wrap her arms around him.

He responded, and enveloped her in a warm embrace, his left hand cuppin her head as he pressed it against his shoulder and his right securely around her waist. It all felt so comfortable holding Amanda like this. He knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that he would never tire from it. His cheek rested against the top of her head. He turned to place a light kiss on her hair, then leaned his head against hers once more.

Without a word, Lee pulled away and gazed down at her with a smile. He stepped back, then extended his hand, a silent invitation for her to join him. With an answering smile, she placed her hand in his, immediately interlacing their fingers. At his nod, they turned and began to walk away from his parents' graves. In companionable silence, they slowly strolled across the freshly cut lawn of the cemetery until they reached the asphalt path that would lead them back to their cars.

He stopped and cast a final look over his shoulder at the place where his parents were buried. At the reassuring squeeze of Amanda's hand, he looked down at her and smiled. Releasing her hand, he reached his arm around her waist and pulled her to him. She leaned her head against his shoulder, then wrapped her own arm around his waist. They each placed their free hand over each other's at their waists and walked towards their cars.

When they reached his 'Vette, he stopped and turned to face her. "What you said back there ... about knowing my parents?"

"Yeah."

"That really meant a lot to me." He reached down to take both of her hands in his and began methodically stroking her fingers with his thumbs. "Losing them when I was six really tore my whole world apart. I didn't even fully understand what was happening. The next thing I knew, I'm being farmed out to several different homes until I wound up with the Colonel. I thought I had lost them. Everything about them, gone forever. But, I guess the memories somehow remained and stayed with me all these years."

"They must have been really special people to have left such a remarkable imprint on your life, and for you to have turned out so much like them, despite only being with them for just a few years."

"Yeah, they were," he replied, giving her hands a squeeze. "You know, it doesn't matter what I remember about them, I also see my mother smiling. It didn't matter if my father was late getting home or if there was bad news delivered. She always managed to find the good in every situation, always managed to put other's needs before her own. You know, I can't think of another person who cared so much about other people, she'd do anything to help them," he paused and gazed into her eyes meaningfully, "except you."

Amanda ducked her head a little and shrugged. "Well, I think it comes with being a mother," she remarked, obviously trying to downplay the high compliment he had paid her.

"No, Amanda, it's more than that," he stated emphatically, and she looked up at him. "I never realized it before now, but you really do remind me a lot of her. Guess that's why I picked you out of the crowd that day at the train station. Maybe it was my subconscious mind that saw her in you, even then." He raised her hands to his lips and placed a light kiss on them both.

"Oh, Lee!" Her whisper was heavy with emotion.

Her response was his undoing, and he slowly lowered his head to hers until their lips met. It was a sweet kiss, but one that fully communicated how they felt about each other. When he pulled back a moment later, he leaned his head against hers and smiled. "Thank you, Amanda." Those two words hardly seemed like enough to express all that he was feeling, but the answering reply reflected in her eyes told him she understood.

"So, what next?"

He sighed. "Now, I go back to my apartment and organize the pictures I have strewn all over the place, maybe even read the rest of my mother's letter and see what else is in that little book." It was something he knew he needed to do, but it was something he didn't exactly look forward to doing, at least not alone. However, he didn't think he could find the words to ask Amanda to join him.

"Would you like some company?"

He fought hard to keep the surprise from his face at the way she seemed to read his thoughts. Was he really that transparent, or was Amanda just that perceptive? Knowing the answer to his question, he smiled, partially in relief and partially in calm assurance that she knew him so well. Just a year ago, that thought would have scared him to death. Now, he was oddly comforted by it.

"I'd love it," he finally answered.

"Good. I'll follow you." She gently removed her hands from his before stepping away and heading for her car.

Almost in a daze, he watched her get in and start her car. At the curious glance from her through her windshield, he realized where he was and gave himself a mental shake before getting into his own car and slowly leaving the cemetery.

A little over a half hour later, they were sitting beside each other on the couch in his living room, sorting through old photographs and talking about the memories he had from each of them.

"This one was at my fifth birthday party. I remember being so excited because I just knew I was going to be getting a brand-new bike, one without the little wheels on the back. My parents were sneaky though. They hid it outside, and somehow managed to keep me from finding it, even though I spent almost all of my time out there and up in that tree that was in front of the house on Lincolndale Road."

"What's that you're holding?" She leaned across his right arm to point to the object in the picture. "It looks like a reflector."

"It is." He nodded. "That was my parents' way of letting me know that I was going to get my wish. They bought that reflector for me to put on my bike, and it was easier to wrap."

"Clever!"

"Yeah, when I saw that reflector, man, my smile must have lit up the room! That's when my mother took this picture," he said, gazing at the image of his father with a feeling of nostalgia.

"So, what happened then?"

"It didn't take me ten seconds to jump up and run outside. There at the bottom of the front steps sat my brand-new bike. It wasn't really new, but it was new to me. My father had gotten it from a friend of his, stored it down in the basement, painted it and worked on it a little bit at a time, when he could, making sure it was ready for my birthday. Since I wasn't allowed down there, obviously to keep me from finding their hidden room, it was the perfect place. But, I was so happy to have a bike of my own, I wouldn't have cared if he had gotten it from a junk yard and fixed it."

"They obviously loved you very much."

Lee glanced at her and a small smile formed on his lips as he thought back to all of the good times he had shared with his parents. "Yeah," he whispered.

Amanda started to gather the stacks they had made of the photos to start organizing them. "So, where have you been keeping all of these all this time?"

"Ohh, stored in a shoebox or just tossed in the bottom of my mother's chest over there in the corner." He gestured to where the chest sat, its lid propped open.

"That was your mother's?"

"Yeah, it was the one thing she obviously wanted to make sure I had in the event that something happened to her. When I was sent to live with the Colonel, he told me about it. I just never had the ability to really look at everything that was inside until recently. Somehow, it was just easier to just keep it with me whenever I moved."

"Kind of like going to see their graves."

"Exactly like that," he affirmed. "It was a burden I carried my entire life, a part of me that I couldn't share with anyone. It was just too hard to go through everything alone."

Amanda's hand reached out to clasp his, and he felt the firm squeeze. "But, you're not alone," she said softly. "And you don't have to carry this burden all by yourself anymore."

He squeezed her hand in reply. "Yeah, I know," he sighed, then reached out to pick up his father's pipe and hold it in his hand, his mind drifting.

"Hey," she said softly, her voice bringing him back to the present, "come here."

He turned to see her shift her position a little and scoot away from him, then grab a pillow from the corner of the couch to place on her lap. Looking at her with a question in his eyes, he hesitated and watched her pat the pillow.

"Come on, you've had a rough few days, and you need to relax a little. No arguments," she added in a firm voice that told him he'd better agree.

With a sigh, he pivoted on the couch and slowly leaned back, feeling her hands gently grasp his shoulders as she guided his head to the pillow. He stretched out his legs and let his feet dangle over the other end of the couch, then lifted his head once or twice to find a comfortable spot on the pillow. He had to admit that laying with his head in Amanda's lap brought a new set of feelings to the surface, ones he'd never really experienced before. There was just something about the way her right hand reached out to smooth back his hair and tenderly brush his forehead that caused him to let down all of his defenses and fully relax under her gentle touch.

As he closed his eyes, he tried to tell himself that it was just his inner desire to have what he missed as a child, but he knew it was so much more than that. The time had long past for his wishes to have his mother back in his life. He had matured beyond that need to a need that was far greater. All of his life, he had known he wanted to do the very thing that drove his father to the paths he had chosen, what had intrigued his mother enough to help a complete stranger, and continue helping even after they were married and she had household responsibilities.

Once he was doing that though, there was something missing. Until he met Amanda, he didn't know what. She showed him that despite his best attempts to avoid it and steer clear of it, the one thing he wanted, the one thing he needed was a life exactly like his parents had. It was why he had kept the hurts and pains of his past hidden so deep inside of himself for so long. He just hadn't found the right person to share them with, a person just like his mother. Now that he did, it was such a large relief, he wondered how he had ever survived all those years trying to handle it on his own.

Amanda's hand covered both of his that were clasped together and resting on his stomach. He opened his eyes a little to look up at her beautiful face as her other hand continued to smooth back his hair. How could he have been so blind? It didn't matter how long he stared at her or how often he saw her, he knew he would never tire of just watching her and the way the light played off her delicate features. The way she bit her bottom lip when she was embarrassed or fully focused on something, the way she was now.

"Amanda," he whispered, then waited for her to focus her gaze on him. "Would you read some more of that letter?"

She paused and a flash of indecision passed across her face. "Sure," she finally said.

He reached out his right hand to retrieve the book from the coffee table and hand it to her. Watching as she slowly opened it, seemingly with reverence and complete care, he relaxed once more into the pillow and closed his eyes, waiting to hear her soft voice wash over him like a soothing breeze on a hot day. Her hand came back to absentmindedly stroke his hair at his forehead once more, and a small smile formed on his lips. Not long after she began reading, in his mind, her voice became his mother's. It was like he was taken back thirty years to when he had last seen her alive and heard her voice:

"Then, suddenly, there he was, looking in the window of my basement flat. I couldn't reason with the knots in my stomach or the way my breathing quickened at seeing him again. When we had first met, I didn't even have time to tell him my name or who I was; yet, somehow he had managed to find me. At first, I was furious, yelling at him for interfering in my life and causing me more worry than I ever wanted, all because of that envelope he had given me on that fateful night.

However, once I got past my anger and frustration and managed to listen to him explain what he did and who he was, I began to understand a little bit more about him. He told me he worked for the American government, and that he had been hired to deliver top secret messages to the British government during the War. Somehow, things got out of control, and that was the night he had asked for my help. He even told me that he still needed it.

Although every fiber in my being told me not to get involved, to just give him the envelope and let him walk out of my life, something made me invite him in for a cup of tea. That night led to many more just like it. Each time we met, he had a little errand for me to run or a little favor for me to do. Always, at the end, we would talk, sometimes for several hours. I found myself becoming more and more intrigued with what he did. It went against every instinct I had, but there was something about him that drew me and made it impossible for me to walk away.

I can't pinpoint the exact moment when I knew I was making a commitment to support him and stand by him, no matter what happened, but I know it was the best decision I'll ever make. It was quite an adjustment at first. There were times when I wanted to throw it all to the wind and get out, but he always managed to find a way to persuade me to stay. And stay I did. Our working relationship soon became a very close friendship, and from there, a deep and abiding love. Looking back now, I often wonder how I ever lived my life without your father in it.

When you were born, I knew my life was complete. I knew that one day, I would be able to tell you everything. That's why I'm writing this all down, so that one day, you will read it and know the truth. Your father and I believed in doing what was right and stopping those that went against it. We faced many challenges, but we always knew things would work out, as long as we had each other, and you. You have a part of both of us in you, and that makes you a very special person. Please know that no matter what happens in your life, we love you with our whole hearts and hope that you'll find the same happiness we have known.

With all my love,
Mum

Lee slowly drifted out of the euphoric state in which his mother's words had put him, and heard her voice change to that of Amanda's. "Is there a date with that letter?"

"September tenth, nineteen-fifty-five," she replied. After a moment, she gasped. "Lee, that's..."

"Yeah, I know."

For several long moments, he just laid there and absorbed the words she had read, allowing them to penetrate his heart and soothe the gaping hole that was left when they died. He felt the warmth and wetness of the tears that pooled in his eyes and willed them not to fall down his cheeks. Risking the chance that Amanda wasn't watching him, he slowly opened his eyes and found hers intently focused on the journal she held, so he blinked several times to clear the moisture from his eyes.

When he fully focused his gaze on Amanda, he noticed that she had a faraway look in her eyes, almost as if she wasn't even aware of his presence. "Amanda?" he tentatively whispered. She shook her head slightly and blinked several times, then glanced from the journal down at him. "What is it?"

She released a long sigh, her breath wavering a little, then glanced back at the pages she had just read. "These words," she whispered, her voice thick with emotion, "they could almost be mine."

After another shuttering breath, Lee felt himself respond to her mild distress. "Hey," he said softly, raising one hand to tenderly stroke her cheek.

When she looked back at him, he was deeply moved by the glistening of tears he saw reflected in her brown depths. Not wanting to make light of her feelings, but wanting to reassure her, he allowed the ghost of a smile to form on his lips.

"Looks like there was more at work getting us together than we realized."

Rewarded by her small grin, he brushed his thumb below her right eye to catch the lone tear the escaped, then brought his thumb to his lips and kissed it. He gently removed the journal from her left hand and placed it back on the coffee table, then took her hand in his as he shifted to prop himself up on his left arm. All of his weight was on his one arm, but he managed to push himself up more to place a tender kiss on her lips. When he pulled away, he saw his own feelings mirrored in her eyes and immediately leaned forward again to capture her lips beneath his.

The kiss they shared was so much more than a merging of deep feelings; it was a merging of two souls, a connection that went far deeper than the passion that normally surged between them. What had been revealed during this investigation into his past had bonded them together in a way that seamlessly blended their lives and made it difficult to determine where one of them ended and the other began. There was no turning back now, and Lee knew it.

As he felt his own body reacting, she responded with the same level of emotion. He began to lose himself in the kiss and pressed her back against the cushions of the couch. It would be so easy to lean her back where he was just laying, so easy to give in to everything he knew they were both feeling, but also realized that in doing so, he could end up cheapening the special bond they now shared and reducing it to nothing more than physical. This new feeling was so overwhelming and so powerful, he didn't want to do anything that would risk destroying it.

So, drawing on every last ounce of strength he possessed, Lee slowly pulled his lips from Amanda's and reluctantly broke the kiss. He had made his fair share of mistakes in his life and had danced around the realities of commitments for far too long. Now that he finally had something he knew was worth keeping, he was going to make sure he gave it the respect it deserved, the respect she deserved.

Fighting hard to return his breathing to normal, he pulled back a little more to gaze into her face, watching her labored breathing and the way her eyes fluttered several times before they opened. When her eyes met his, he saw the same darkened passion blazing in them that he knew was shining in his. His body telling him one thing, and his mind another, he forced a soft smile to his lips and placed a kiss on her nose, then gave her lips another soft kiss, before he swung his legs around to the floor and returned to a sitting position beside her.

After several long moments, her hand slowly slipped into his and her fingers entwined with his. That silent reassurance was all he needed to know that she understood and appreciated him for his actions. He turned to glance at her and watched her turn to face him, a hint of a smile on her lips. Smiling in return, he gave her hand a squeeze, then cleared his throat and scooted forward on the couch.

"So, are you hungry?"

"A little."

"Good, I'll whip us up something. You go ahead and get the albums out for these photos. You'll find some empty ones that should work in the bottom drawer of the desk over there." He nodded across the room to the far wall, then started to stand. The pressure of her hand increased, so he paused and looked back at her.

"Lee?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for sharing this with me," she said softly. "I know how difficult it was for you to open up, and ... I ... I just wanted you to know how glad I am that you let me be the one you chose to tell."

"I wouldn't have told anyone else," he stated with conviction and watched the corners of her mouth turn up with the hint of a smile. They exchanged another sweet kiss, then he released her hand and stood to head for the kitchen. When he reached the doorway, he turned back around to watch her stand and go to the desk to retrieve the albums he mentioned, then return to her seat on the couch.

Her hands reached for the first set of photos. He realized just how right everything was. How lucky he was to have her in his life. Somehow, he knew his parents were looking down on them both and smiling.

(THE END)

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