For personal use and select distribution only © July 2002 by Amber Stockton Where We Belong (2)
Amanda turned her head to watch Lee walk out of the room and quelled the desire to call out to him. As soon as the door closed, she pounded her fist against the bed as another tear fell from her eyes. She knew she had been unfair to him, knew she should have given him a chance, and could see in his eyes that he was hurting as much as she was. More than anything, she wanted to call out to him, collapse in his arms and tell him she was sorry. If she called him now, he'd be by her side in a second, but her pride wouldn't let her. Lee was obviously making an attempt to make things right, and she had shut him out. "Why? What am I trying to prove?" she whispered to the ceiling above her. The pain she had seen in Lee's eyes when she told him to leave was enough to nearly break her heart. It was almost as if she had shut down her feelings and made herself immune to his pleading voice and imploring touch. Reaching out for the little stuffed bear Jamie had brought her earlier, she hugged it to her chest and tilted her head to rest her cheek against the soft synthetic fur. "What's wrong with me?" she muttered out loud and glanced around the empty room. The door to her room opened, and she snapped her head around to see who was coming in. A sigh escaped her lips when she realized it was the nurse on duty, and she mentally chastised herself for the hope that it might be Lee. Without a word, the woman wheeled the cart with the lunch trays on them over to the bed and went through the motions of setting up the table to receive the tray. Amanda patiently waited for the nurse to turn the crank to raise the top of her bed. When everything was set to the nurse's satisfaction, the woman left. As the door closed, Amanda thought back to the question she had uttered before the nurse arrived and knew exactly what was wrong with her. She picked up the fork and began to eat the edible fare on the plate in front of her, ruminating about her present attitude. It wasn't that she wanted to be here or wanted to be treating her family in such an ungrateful manner, but it seemed as if she had been floating along through life for the past few years. She had kept everything buried beneath the surface, determined to be strong for everyone around her, even when she felt like her life was about to crumble around her. Then, her peaceful existence had been interrupted. "Oh, Lee!" She sighed. "Why did this have to happen now?" Another tear formed in the corner of her eye and slipped down along the edge of her nose. She reached up to brush it away as she thought about everything that had happened in the past four years. Everything seemed to be going fine. She had even managed to find love again, but that had only complicated things more. Her relationship with Lee became one more thing that she had to keep under control. What had happened last night was merely the tip of the large iceberg that was her life. Now, it seemed as if everything had been raised to the surface, and the result was something she wasn't quite ready to face. Still, it felt good not to have to worry if her boys were getting fed, or if the laundry was getting done, or if the house was clean. For once, she had an excuse to do nothing and didn't have to be the strong one. For once, she had others at her beck and call instead of her having to answer everyone else's demands. With a sigh, she pushed away the table. As much as it felt good to not have a list of things to do, she knew she wasn't happy. "Who am I kidding?" she spoke out to the four walls of the room. "That's what I'd like to know!" "Mother!" Amanda jerked her head towards the door as her mother walked into the room and approached the bed. "Oh, so you're actually talking to me, now? And what, may I ask, brought about this change?" "Mother, I'm sorry." She lowered her head for a moment, then lifted it to look her mother directly in the eyes. "I don't know what came over me and why I was acting the way I was, but it was wrong, and I apologize." "I'll tell you why you were acting that way." Dotty clasped her hands in front of her and began to walk around the other side of the bed. "You were feeling sorry for yourself, that's why. You figured it was better to lie here in bed than face whatever's bothering you." She gestured with her hands to punctuate her point, then whipped around to face Amanda and pointed a finger in her direction. "You are running from your problems, and you know it!" "You're right, Mother." "Now, I know you and Lee had a falling out of some kind," Dotty continued, appearing to not have even heard Amanda. "I'm not happy to hear that, but I also know that disagreements happen in all relationships." She spread her hands wide. "Goodness knows, your daddy and I had our share of them." She sighed. "It might have taken some time, and it definitely took some compromise, but we always managed to work things out." Her mother paused, and Amanda watched her pace back and forth at the foot of the bed. For a moment, she considered saying something, then her mother stopped and turned to face her, once again pointing a finger in her direction. "You know what your problem is, Missy? You're scared!" "What?" Dotty nodded and lowered her hand to rest it on the bar at the foot of the bed. "That's right. You're scared. You've finally found a man who loves you, who loves the boys, and who you love in return, and you're scared of getting hurt again. You don't want the same thing to happen with you and Lee that happened with Joe, so when troubles happen, you avoid them." Her mother paused, then came around to the side of the bed and took a seat in the chair. Her left hand was clasped warmly between her mother's two hands and looked into the same caring eyes she'd known her entire life, the eyes that could smile with love or be firm with a needed reprimand. Amanda knew that the reprimand was something she needed. "Amanda, look. I know I pressured you a little when you were seeing Dean…" "A little, Mother?" Amanda raised one eyebrow and gave her mother a knowing look. "Well, all right, I pressured you a lot when you were seeing Dean, but I only did it because I love you and I didn't like seeing you so unhappy." "Mother, I wasn't unhappy. I had the boys. I had you. I didn't need anyone else in my life." At least, that's what I tried to tell myself. Dotty's hands squeezed her one. "Amanda, you know as well as I do that you weren't truly happy with your life the way it was. You didn't fully bounce back until you started working for IFF. If I may be frank…" Amanda gave her a knowing grin. "All right, so I'm always frank." She smiled and lifted one hand to wave it vaguely in the air. "But, that's not the point," she continued, clasping Amanda's hands again. "The point is that I know what you have with Lee is very special. I haven't seen you as happy with anyone else as you are when you're with him. Please, don't blow it?" Amanda smiled and brought her right hand across her body to place it on top of her mother's. "Thank you, Mother. I won't." She withdrew her hands and placed them on either side of her as she shifted her position to sit a little straighter in bed. "Now, I have to get out of this bed!" "Yes," Dotty agreed and glanced down at Amanda's legs. "Amanda, your foot moved!" "What?" "I saw it. It moved!" "Mother, are you sure?" "Of course, I'm sure." Dotty gestured wildly towards Amanda's foot. "Now, try again. Maybe you can do it if you're thinking about it." Amanda focused all of her attention on her legs and concentrated on feeling something … anything. After several moments, she managed to turn her ankle just slightly, but enough to be noticeable. "Mother, I did it!" "Oh, Amanda, darling! You're going to be just fine!" Dotty replied, her voice full of hope and jubilation as she stood. Amanda was suddenly enveloped in an exuberant embrace, and after she caught her breath from the momentary surprise, she returned the hug. "I'm going to go call Joe and the boys and let them know," her mother said as soon as she pulled back. "Do you want me to call Lee, too?" Amanda paused for a moment and looked down at her legs. An idea formed in her mind. "No, Mother. I want to be the one to tell Lee myself." "All right, dear. I'll be back soon," she said and leaned across to kiss Amanda's cheek. "You keep working on moving those legs, and you'll be better in no time!" Dotty stood up and wiped the tears of joy from her eyes as she headed for the door. "Oh, look at me! I'm a mess, but I'm so happy! I'll let the doctor know on my way out. Maybe he can come in to show you some of those exercises again, now that you're willing to try." "Mother?" "Yes, dear?" Dotty said and turned. Amanda smiled. "Thank you." Her voice was choked with emotion. Dotty smiled in return. "You're welcome, dear," she said and left. After her mother left, Amanda could only think about the idea that had come to her a moment ago. Although she wanted to see Lee more than anything, she didn't want him to see her like this. He had made an attempt to apologize and begin to make things right between them, and she'd turned a deaf ear to him. It may not be easy to pull it off, but she was certain the surprise that would await him would be well worth it. He deserved better than what she had at the moment to give him, and she was going to be certain he got it. * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * Lee stepped off the elevator and walked down the hall towards the bullpen, ignoring the curious stares of many of his fellow agents and the others who worked at the Agency. Without even acknowledging the guard that opened the door for him, he headed straight for the door marked 'William Melrose.' "Well, look who decided to pull himself off of surveillance and actually show his face around here!" the section chief remarked as soon as Lee entered. "Cut the crap, Billy! Why'd you call me in here, huh?" "Close the door." Lee did, then took a few more steps into the office and faced his boss. He watched Billy for several moments and waited for the explanation for his being here, but nothing came. "Well?" "First of all, I called you in because we've got enough evidence to grab Jessup and his gang and get them off the streets. I got off the phone less than hour ago with Dr. Smythe, and he's given the green flag to go in." "Well, it's about time!" Lee remarked. "We've only been watching that house and his entire operation for three days! What took Smythe so long to agree?" "He wanted concrete proof. Those tapes the surveillance team got were good. Plus, we got an anonymous tip from a very reliable source that there's a deal going down tonight. Smythe wants to make sure we get our men there before that happens, so we can intercept them." Lee spread his arms out from his sides, then rested his hands on the back of one of the chairs facing Billy's desk. "So, why call me in here? Isn't that something that could have been relayed over the radio or phone?" "Yes, but that's not why I wanted you in," Billy replied. "So, are you going to share this with me, or it some top secret information on a need to know basis only," he remarked dryly. "For starters, look at yourself!" his boss replied, gesturing with one hand at Lee's appearance. Lee glanced down and took note of his rumpled clothing, as if seeing it for the first time. He'd had other things on his mind lately and didn't stop to worry about his attire. "You haven't shaved in at least three days, your clothes look like you slept in them, and if I don't miss my guess, you probably haven't slept much either. What's wrong with you?" "It's nothing, Billy," Lee replied, lifting a hand to rub across the stubble on his chin and face, then ran that hand through his hair. He could feel the strands standing on end, but he made no move to correct them. "I'd say it's a lot more than nothing," Billy countered. "I'm really worried about you, Scarecrow. I haven't seen you like this since that case with Brodie that involved Jonathan. Before that, it was Nightcrawler. Then, it had to do directly with Amanda." Lee looked down when the section chief pinned him with a look. "Has her condition improved any?" "I don't know, Billy," Lee replied with an exasperated sigh as he turned away and began to pace. "Every time I go to visit, she's either sleeping or tells the nurse she doesn't want to see me." He gestured wildly with one hand in the air. "The couple of times I was able to get to her room, her face was always turned to the wall, and I couldn't tell if she was ignoring me or actually asleep." "What happened between you two, anyway?" Lee glanced back at Billy, whose voice was full of concern. He knew Billy cared about Amanda almost as much as he did, so he decided to be honest. Besides, he needed to talk to someone. "We had an argument the night of her accident, and I guess it got a little out of hand." "A little?" He ducked his head. "All right, so it got a lot out of hand. I've already accepted the fact that half of it's my fault … maybe more than half, but she won't even talk to me." He paused and looked at the screens that showed the view of the various cameras placed throughout the Agency and sighed. "You know, I've spent years walking the fine line between life and death, but it wasn't until Amanda dropped into my life that I really started thinking about what I do on a daily basis." "You've definitely changed … for the better. I'll give you that." "I know it's not the first time Amanda's been hurt or somehow involved because of a case we've been working on, but this time, it seems so unfair. All she was doing was looking up a few files and doing a little research, and Jessup decided to pinpoint her instead of me." He turned back around and faced his boss. "Why her, Billy? Why does it always seem like she's the likely target in situations like this? They almost always want me, so why not go after me instead?" "Because they know they can get to you through her," Billy pointed out. "They know they'll have a better chance of breaking you if she's involved." "Yeah, I know." He sighed. "But, damn it, Billy! I don't know if I can keep going like this and wondering when the next hit's going to be. It was fine when it was just me, but working with Amanda has changed everything. I don't know if I can keep risking her life as well as my own in all of this. If I hadn't lost control Saturday night, she wouldn't have gone home angry, and she wouldn't have been out on the street walking, so Jessup wouldn't have been able to hit her." He came to stand behind the chair again and brought his fist down on the back of it. "She's lying in that hospital bed because of me, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it!" "Do you want a written guarantee?" "What?" "Lee, you've worked in this business for more almost fifteen years. You've seen things that have no explanation. There isn't always one to give." Lee saw Billy lean forward and rest his palms flat against the surface of his desk. "Now, I know you don't want to hear this, but I really don't care." Lee looked away. "There's no way you could have known that Jessup was going to strike that night, and even if you hadn't had that argument, you can't guarantee that he wouldn't have hit Amanda the next night or the next. What's done is done, and what you need to do is decide how you're going to move forward. There's no sense living in the past. Now, are you going to keep living your life like this, blaming yourself for something you couldn't have prevented? Are you going to let Amanda keep blaming herself? That's only going to keep destroying two lives that have a whole lot more to live for than what you're allowing." When Billy paused for a longer moment, Lee looked back at the section chief who was also his friend. "Are you done?" Lee watched Billy straighten. "Yes." "Good. Now, can I say something?" "Go right ahead." Billy gave Lee a sweeping gesture with his hand. "You're right," he conceded. "I have been blaming myself. It's just that where Amanda's concerned, I find myself questioning things that used to not faze me in the least. It was all part of the job, and I took the deal I was dealt and played." "The same thing you need to do, now. You just have another tail to watch besides your own." "Yeah, I just hope I haven't botched things completely." He sighed. "Maybe Amanda needs a little time to think things through. When Jeannie and I don't get along on something, we both agree to cool off a bit before trying to talk to each other." Billy stepped out from behind his desk and approached Lee. "Just give it time," his boss suggested and placed a hand on his shoulder. Lee returned the gesture and gave Billy a halfhearted smile. "Thanks, Billy." "No problem." The section chief walked back behind his desk and shuffled through some papers. "Now, get out there and grab Jessup. We can't let this deal tonight go down. Smythe will have *both* our heads!" "Yeah, I hear you!" Lee replied and turned towards the door. As soon as he reached for the doorknob, Billy spoke again. "Oh, and Lee?" "Yeah?" "Try Amanda again tomorrow. I have a feeling she'll be ready to talk by then." "Yeah, Billy. I will. Thanks," he said as he left and headed out. * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * Lee looked into the emotionless eyes of the man who was solely responsible for Amanda being in the hospital. The moment the men had been in place, Lee had led the team that rushed into the house to apprehend Jessup and his men. Unable to contain his anger, he reached out and grabbed a fistful of Jessup's shirt. "You're going to pay for what you did!" Jessup shrugged. "Ain't no skin off my back. The woman got in the way. I took her out. All in a day's work." Rage consumed him and spread to every nerve in Lee's body. He clenched his left fist and narrowed his eyes, ready to beat Jessup's body to a bloody pulp! "Lee, don't!" Harrison warned. "It's not worth it." The words barely registered in Lee's mind. He was so consumed with fury, his mind was focused only on vindication. Then, he felt a hand on his, and a soft voice spoke. "Lee, don't. We've got all of them. Doing anything now would only make things worse." With a sigh, Lee released Jessup's shirt and shoved him into the hands of one of the other men on the team. He followed everyone out and watched as Jessup and his men were shoved into the van. A nod from the team leader signaled him that everyone was out and secured for the ride back to the Agency, so Lee started his car and pulled away from the curb, leading the caravan of unmarked cars and agency vehicles back to Georgetown. It was already after midnight, and he didn't exactly look forward to the debriefing he'd have to endure once he returned, but at least it helped him keep his mind off of Amanda. "Once all of this is over, I'm going to crash for a few hours, then take a shower and make myself presentable before heading back to the hospital." Amanda certainly doesn't need to see me like this. He ran his hand across his lower face again. Billy was right. He did look awful. Then again, for the past few days, he hadn't cared. All he knew was his wife had only halfheartedly spoken to him each time he saw her. Hopefully, Amanda would be in a better frame of mind and welcome his visit in the morning. He briefly contemplated picking up some flowers for her, then he remembered the last time they had fought and how much she disliked the cliché ways of apologizing. So, he'd just have to get a little creative. Not long after they arrived at the Agency, the security guards took care of Jessup and his men, and Lee headed off to the debriefing room. About an hour later, he walked out, feeling completely exhausted by everything that had happened with this case, not to mention the stress of the current state of his marriage. Grabbing his suit jacket from the back of the chair where he had tossed it, he pulled his keys from the pocket and headed for the elevator. "Sleep is definitely what I need," he muttered. * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * Lee walked through the main door of the hospital and nodded at the nurse on duty. He had been there every day that week, so they all recognized him. They had even shared in his dejection each time he had left, no closer to getting through to Amanda than when he first spoke to her. While it was a long way from offering him comfort, it did help some. Arriving at the second floor, he immediately stepped up to the nurse's station to sign in. As soon as he approached, one of the nurses left and headed down the hall towards Amanda's room. He turned to follow, but the nurse behind the counter stopped him. "Do you have higher hopes today, Mr. Stetson?" Lee turned back to face her and glanced at her nametag. "Yeah, Terry, I do." "Well, sometimes things have a way of working themselves out," she stated mysteriously, then turned her attention back to the work in front of her. "Yeah," Lee replied, a little confused at her remark. Brushing it off as unimportant, he turned again towards the hallway that led to Amanda's room and started the first of the many steps that would take him once again to his wife, the package he held securely tucked beneath his arm. He barely acknowledged the nurse from the station leaving Amanda's room when he was about halfway down the hall, but she didn't pass on a message at all, so he figured he was cleared to continue. As soon as he reached the door, he paused with his hand on the handle and closed his eyes. A sigh escaped his lips as he summoned all of his strength to face whatever reception he would get as soon as he entered. He inhaled and straightened his shoulders, then pushed the door open and stepped inside the stark room. His eyes immediately sought the bed, and he felt momentary shock to find it completely empty and made, the sheets tightly tucked and the coverlet pulled up under the pillows. In fact, as his eyes scanned the room, there was no sign of any occupancy whatsoever. Why didn't they say anything at the nurse's station when I signed in? Just what was going on here? "Are you looking for me?" Startled, Lee whipped his head to the left towards Amanda's voice to find her standing in the doorway to the bathroom, her arms crossed over her chest. It was surprising enough to find the room completely bare. To see his wife standing on her own two feet and fully dressed was almost more than he could take. "Amanda!" he exclaimed. "I…what…how…?" "What's the matter, Stetson? Cat got your tongue?" Finally recovering from his shock, he shook his head and swallowed. "No, I … uh … I'm just surprised to see you standing is all." "Well, it's amazing what you can accomplish when you set your mind to something." "How long?" "Just yesterday. The nurses have been working with me for three days to help me get my legs working again. Like the doctor said on Sunday, it was an accumulation of fluid that would recede with exercise, only I was too stubborn to listen." She shrugged. "What changed your mind?" "I guess you can say I got an earful of advice that told me I'd better get out of that bed, or else." Lee chuckled. "Yeah, I sort of got the same thing, only it was a firm dressing down on the way I'd been acting lately." "Guess we both got what we deserved, huh?" "Guess so." He nodded, then paused and shifted his weight from one foot to the other, still not quite sure about everything and how he should play the cards that were being dealt at the moment. To be on the safe side, he decided to let her lead. "So…where do we go from here?" "Well, for starters, how about you give me what's hiding behind your back there?" Amanda nodded in his direction, her gaze on his right arm tucked behind his back. "As long as it's not flowers." Lee grinned, knowing he had her pegged, and took a few steps in her direction. "No, it's not flowers. I learned that lesson a while ago." She pushed herself away from the wall and took a step towards him as well, but still supported herself against the doorjamb. "I figured I'd get a little something to take us back to where it all began, since I'd like to try and start over, if we could." He held his breath as he brought the small box around in front of him and handed it to her. She slowly lifted the lid and gasped when she looked inside. "Oh, Lee!" she exclaimed softly and reached in to retrieve the small item nestled in cotton inside the box. "It's beautiful!" She set the box on the small table by the door and lifted the lid of the music box, the bells immediately starting to play the familiar melody of one of her favorite jazz songs. He quietly released the breath he had been holding and grinned. "It actually took some doing to get that particular song in there, but what good are connections if you don't use them, right?" Amanda raised her free hand to his cheek and lightly touched it. "Thank you," she whispered. Lee turned his head to place a kiss in the center of her palm, then started to take a step closer to her. However, she quickly lowered her hand and pointed her finger at his chest, stopping his progress. "Not so fast, bucko! We can't just kiss and make up this time." Lee reached up and clasped her hand in his, then lifted it to his lips for a quick kiss. "I know that, but it's only a start. I figured we could continue this evening at the apartment and talk." "Talk?" She narrowed her eyes and gave him a doubtful look. "Since when have you ever wanted to only talk, Stetson?" "I mean it, Amanda. I've had a lot of time to think these past few days while we've been apart, and as much as it was torture being away from you, it gave me time to get my head screwed on straight and work out some things." "Such as?" "Uh-uh." He shook his head and kissed her fingers again. "You have to come to dinner tonight to find out." Imploring her with his eyes, he risked taking a step closer and placing his hand at her waist. "Please say you'll come?" She paused and gazed at him for several moments, and he could feel his heart beating a little wildly as he waited for her answer. After what felt like an eternity, she smiled and nodded. "Okay, Stetson, I accept … but on one condition." "Name it." "You be on your best behavior." "Scout's honor." He held up two fingers and giving her his most charming grin. She smiled and shook her head, then pulled her hand from his and brushed past him into the room. "Just let me grab my bag, and we can leave." She snatched the carton from the table and placed the music box back inside. He smiled. "Yes, ma'am!" Finally, they were on their way towards reconciliation. It was going to take some time and some compromise, like Billy and Dotty had both told him, but he would do whatever it took to make it work. * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * "So, have I done a good job in behaving myself so far?" Lee teased as soon as the dinner dishes were washed and put away, and he approached the couch with two glasses of sparkling cranberry-apple cider. Amanda took one from him and pursed her lips, giving him a pensive look. "Not bad," she remarked. "Not…" he started to say, then grinned and a twinkle entered his eyes. "May I?" He gestured towards the space on the couch next to her. "Help yourself," she replied and shifted her position to tuck one leg underneath of her as she took a sip of the drink Lee had given her. Immediately noticing the different taste, she drew her eyebrows together and looked over at him. He had just sat down and taken a sip from his own glass, and she could see the knowing grin on his lips. "What's this? No alcohol?" He shrugged. "I didn't think it would be a good idea with you having been released from the hospital just this morning." "Good point. Thank you." For several moments, neither one of them said anything, and Amanda felt like she had when he had first invited her to his apartment for dinner, back when they had closed the case on Trans-Oceanic. She knew it was foolish to feel this way, but she couldn't help it. Back at the hospital, Lee had presented the request to start over, and that's what it seemed like they were doing. Well, someone had better break the ice, or they'd be here all night. "Lee…" "Amanda…" They spoke at the same time and laughed, effectively breaking the tension between them. "You first," he encouraged. She took a breath and thought about what she was going to say before she spoke. "Lee…um…you know, we haven't really discussed much about our situation, and I thought that maybe we should start with …" "There's no need," he interrupted softly. "What?" She couldn't help but stare at him as if he had lost his mind. A momentary spark of indignation began to flare, but she did her best to control it. The look in Lee's eyes wasn't one of smug satisfaction. It was more of a silent plea that she would hear what he had to say. "I have the solution." "Oh? And would you care to share it, or is it going to be a secret?" "We come clean," he said simply and shrugged as he took another sip of wine, his gaze shifting to the glass in his hand. "What did you just say?" He lifted his eyes to hers. "You heard me. We admit everything." "By everything, do you mean…" "Our feelings, our relationship, our marriage. Yes." He nodded. "But, Lee…" "What, Amanda? If you're going to say that we need to be careful about everything and keep things hidden to protect our family, well, don't." She started to open her mouth, but he held up a hand to stop her. "I mean it, Amanda. It's just like with us setting a date to get married in the first place…" "We're chicken," she said along with him and nodded. "You're right." "So, when are we going to stop talking about it and do it?" "Lee, are you sure you know what you're suggesting?" "Yes, Amanda, I do," he stated with conviction. "I haven't been fair to you, to your family, or to us with this determination to keep our marriage a secret." He picked a piece of lint off his slacks and dropped it onto the floor, then met her gaze again. "What you said that night was true. I can see how much of a strain this all has been on you, and I'm sorry. You've stuck it out for me, and I'm grateful, but it's time I started acting like it." Amanda didn't know what to say. It was hard to believe that she was actually hearing Lee say what he was saying. She had planned to address the issue of their secret marriage and suggest that they seriously consider telling at least her family about it. However, she would never have expected Lee to suggest that they come completely clean about it all. It was almost too good to be true. "Well?" His voice interrupted her thoughts. She shook her head to clear her mind. "I'm sorry, Lee. It's just that I'm so surprised to hear you suggest that." "Yeah, I know, especially after all the hedging I've been doing about it." He nodded, then placed his wine glass on the coffee table and reached out to take her glass from her to join his. Turning back to face her, he clasped her hands in his and gazed into her eyes. "Amanda, I realize that it's time we started acting like we're really married instead of straddling this fence. I also know that I have to start taking responsibility in this relationship, instead of pretending that everything's all right." "Sounds like you've really been doing some thinking." "I have. I'm just sorry it took me this long to figure it out." He glanced down at their joined hands. "Well, I was going to say some of the same things tonight, but you've saved me the trouble," she began with a grin. He wasn't looking at her, so she shifted her hands in his and intertwined their fingers, rubbing her thumbs against his hands. "As much as I appreciate your willingness to make this work and start living our lives out in the open, at least as far as our marriage is concerned, it's not going to be that simple. I admit that I've been feeling very alone in all of this. We may be married, but this living in separate places and inventing reasons to be together has actually been harder on me than when we were dating. I still feel like I'm the sole caretaker of the house and the boys, not to mention the bills and everything else involved with that part of my life." She paused when he looked up, the guilt evident in his eyes, so she withdrew one of her hands and held it between them. "Now, I'm not saying that I'm not part of the problem, too. I'm just saying that by going public, we're going to have a lot of adjustments to make." "I know that, Amanda, and I'm ready to make them." He reached up and intertwined their hands again. "We've been married for almost seven months, and I want to join every part of our lives. I think the reason I avoided this for so long was because I'd never had it in my life, and I didn't really know what was expected of me." "Well, you didn't exactly have a clear example set for you, either," she pointed out. "Right, but that's still not an excuse for this mess I started with this mystery marriage thing," he countered. "I know what's expected of me, now, and I want to step into the shoes that are waiting for me." He reached one hand up to caress her cheek and smiled. "I love you, Amanda, and I want to be your husband in every sense of the word." Amanda reached her free hand up to cover his as she leaned her cheek into it. "Oh, Lee," she breathed, feeling the tears begin to gather in her eyes. "I'm ready, too." "Come here," he implored softly. Disentangling her leg from underneath her, she leaned forward and willingly went into his arms, savoring the feel of his warm and loving embrace. This was the one place she felt secure, as if nothing in the world could touch or harm her. His arms tightened around her, and she felt his lips brush kisses on top of her head. She snuggled against him. "I missed you, Amanda," he whispered. "I missed your smile, your laugh, your touch, and even your rambling." She felt him chuckle against her hair. "But you know what I missed the most?" "What?" "My partner, my wife, and my best friend." She felt him pull back a little to rain kisses across her forehead and cheeks and eyes before finally reaching her lips. "I love you, Lee," she whispered against his mouth. Awash with the familiar feelings he evoked in her, she returned the kiss with everything inside of her. This recent separation had really taken it toll on her, and obviously on him, too. Every emotion they felt between them poured into their kiss, and she wrapped her arms around his neck to draw him closer. Her lips automatically parted as he deepened the kiss, and she was almost overwhelmed with the intensity of it. Finally, they broke apart to catch their breaths, and Lee leaned his forehead against hers. When she finally opened her eyes, she saw all of the love she felt reflected in his own. "Amanda…I…" The phone ringing next to their ears startled them both and interrupted him. Amanda couldn't help but smile at the untimely interruption. In fact, she had come to expect it, and was actually wondering how it would come tonight, thankful it was the phone and not the door. With a sigh, Lee reached for the receiver, lifted it from the cradle and held it to his ear. "Yeah, Stetson here," he spoke into the phone. "Billy, do you want me to answer that honestly?" he said with a grin." … "Yes, she's here." … "Yes, everything's fine. Doctor gave her a clean bill of health." Lee smiled at her and gave her a wink. "Are you sure, Billy?" … "Well, thanks! Thanks a lot!" … "Sure, I'll tell her." … "Yeah, okay." When he hung up the phone, Amanda reached up to brush a lock of hair back from his forehead. "So, that was Mr. Melrose, I assume." "Yeah." "What did he have to say?" Lee returned his left arm to her waist. "Well, he wanted to make sure you were okay and was checking on how you were doing." "And what else? Why did you thank him?" His hands tightened around her as he gave her a little squeeze. "Oh, well, he told me to tell you that he gave me tomorrow off, and that I was under strict orders to enjoy my extended weekend," he informed her with a twinkle in his eyes. "Mmm, so does that mean that I have the day off, as well?" "I believe that was implied, yes." "In that case," she began and placed her hands at the buttons on his shirt as she undid the first one, "why don't we…uh…make up for lost time?" she suggested with a mischievous grin, moving to the next button as she made her way down his chest. "I'd like nothing better," he replied, his voice sounding a little strained and deeper than normal, "but first, I have something to give you." "Something else?" she asked, surprised. "You already gave me the music box." "This isn't from me," he countered as he reached for a nicely wrapped box on the table behind the couch and handed it to her. "Oh? Who then?" "You'll have to read the card, I guess. I saw your mother at the hospital yesterday, and she handed me this, said it had arrived in the mail, and she thought I should give it to you." "Hmm," she remarked as she placed the box between them and began to undo the wrapping. "Oh wait, you said there was a card." She reached for that first and opened the flap, then pulled out the card inside. A smile formed on her lips when she read the note. "Are you going to share what it says?" "It's from Penelope." "As in the princess from Zaquir?" "The very same," Amanda affirmed with a smile. "We've kept in touch since that case almost four years ago, and I told her about the progression of our relationship." "Ohh, so looks like she was right about us, after all," Lee remarked with a smile as he placed a kiss on her nose. "So, what did she have to say?" "Ohh, nothing overly important. She did say that she was sure I'd get some use out of the gift she sent, though." Amanda immediately turned her attention to the box in her lap. Once the wrapping was completely off, she lifted the lid from the box and brushed aside the tissue paper. "Oh my gosh!" she gasped. "What?" he asked, peering over the lid she held up to try to see the contents. "Hey! There's another card," he pointed out. Amanda lifted the little card and read what it said. "For a night full of honeysuckle and moonlight. Love, Penelope." A smile formed on her lips as she thought back to the conversation she and Penelope had that night. "So, are you going to include me in this little secret?" "I think it'd be more fun to show you," she replied mysteriously. "Mm, I think I'm going to like this!" With a flourish, Amanda lifted the black silk nightgown from the box and held it out next to them, so that the hem grazed the floor next to the couch. She glanced back to see the admiration in Lee's eyes and smiled. "Remember that night I told you that Penelope thought we were having a 'thing'?" "Yeah." He nodded. "Well, before you arrived, she and I were talking about marriage and how when things weren't going so well, I would put on this sexy nightgown. Seems as if she knew this might come in handy right about now." "Hmm," Lee murmured and leaned towards her. "Remind me to thank her later," he whispered, just before capturing her mouth with his. Amanda dropped the nightgown, then placed her hands on his chest and spread the fabric of his shirt to touch his smooth skin. She felt Lee's arm slip beneath her legs to draw them across his lap as he pulled her closer. Her hands slid up and across his chest to entangle in the hair at the base of his neck, and she felt him shudder at her touch. In response, he pulled her tighter, and she inadvertently cringed, causing him to back away. "Are you all right? What happened?" "It's nothing, really," she replied. "My ribs are a little sore, that's all. I believe they're still bruised." "Are you sure you're okay?" His voice was full of concern as his hands lovingly caressed the area of her ribs. "I'm fine, Lee." He grinned. "In that case, I guess we're going to have to make sure we're extra careful." "Mmm, are you sure you can handle that?" she teased, running her fingers lightly across his chest. "Oh, believe me. I have you back in my arms, and I don't intend to do anything that's going to cause you to leave them. These past few days without you have been misery, and my life's not complete without you in it. I'll do whatever it takes to make sure you stay here where you belong." "Where we belong," she corrected. "Exactly," he whispered and captured her lips one more. "Mmm," she moaned in the back of her throat, and he pulled back a little to gaze into her eyes. With a grin, she ran her hands once more across his chest and took her bottom lip between her teeth. "You know, I think Philip and Jamie were right." His brows drew together in confusion. "About what?" "I don't think it's possible to choose between Superman and Batman," she replied. "Amanda, what are you talking about?" "Remember the movies last weekend?" "Yeah." He nodded. "Remember the argument the boys were having over who was better, Batman or Superman?" "Yeah, but what's that got to do with…" "Well, the next night, they came to me and asked me what I find more attractive in a man - strength or intelligence." "And what did you say?" "I didn't at the time, but I think I've finally decided…it's both." She continued to run her hands across his broad and muscular chest. "I love your strength," she began, "but you're also very wise in saying that you can't live without me," she teased. "Is that so?" He smiled, a twinkle in his eyes. "Well, you know something else?" "What's that?" "I think we're finally on the right track with our relationship." "Mmm, I couldn't agree more." Lee chuckled, then gave her a quick kiss. "So, when are we going to start telling everyone about us?" Amanda smiled. "I think we'll start with my family, then work our way out from there." "I think that sounds like a good idea." "But in the meantime, I think we should get started on our long weekend," she whispered suggestively, lowering her voice and sensuously sliding her hands up his chest to clasp behind his neck. Lee reached down to retrieve the nightgown from the floor, then wrapped his arms around her, sliding one arm under her legs and the other behind her back as he slid off the couch and stood. She tightened her hold around his neck, then smiled when his gaze melded with hers. Instinctively, they both leaned forward as their lips met, and she felt him start to walk, knowing where they were headed. When they reached the bedroom, Lee continued in and tenderly placed her on top of the covers, then sat on the edge of the bed and reached for both of her feet, pulling them into his lap as he began to massage first one, then the other. "Mmm,
you're going to spoil me," she murmured, her eyes drifting closed
as she luxuriated in his touch. "And you, my dear Scarecrow, are very handsome," she returned. His hand reached up to tenderly caress her cheek and move down her neck. "I love you, Mrs. Stetson," he stated, his voice choked with emotion. Amanda ran her left hand across his chest and let it come to rest on his shoulder. "And I love you, Mr. Stetson," she echoed. Slowly, Lee lowered himself and gently wrapped his arms around her, propping himself up on his arms to avoid leaning his full weight against her. His lips covered hers in a kiss that was slow and thorough, and Amanda felt herself drifting away on the euphoric feelings created by their mutual love. No, they hadn't solved all of their problems tonight, but she knew they had taken a big step towards the solution. It was going to take some time and cooperation from them both, but she felt sure they'd make it. Their love was definitely a love that would last…for better or worse…for the rest of their lives. (THE END) Songs that Inspired this Story
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