We're Off to See the Wizard - tagalogue

Written by Whitney Wherret Roberson (excerpts from the episode belong to her)

"Did you hear Paul Barnes is retiring? ..... Can you imagine it? A legend, retiring."

"Well, even the ... great ones have to know when to let go." Amanda lightly grazed Lee's arm with her finger. She sat perched on the edge of his desk and smiled down at him. The look in his eyes told her that he realized the double meaning in her words. Let go. Yes, that was definitely something he needed to do. If she didn't miss her guess, his healing had finally begun with the closing of this case.

"Yeah." Lee then gestured with his thumb as he appeared to remember something. "Oh, Amanda, something for you."

In curiosity, she watched him reach down to pull a small bouquet of three red roses and some baby's breath wrapped in a cloth from beside his desk and hold it out to her. She was touched when she saw what it was and reached out one hand to grasp it. "Ohh," she whispered softly, watching as he rested his left arm back on the chair.

"Thanks."

That one word said so much more. He was thanking her for helping him get past his memories and past the roadblock that held him back. Due to the talk they had shared and her persistence in getting him to open up, she knew how much hurt he had endured as a result of Dorothy and her brutal murder, knew the bitterness he carried inside all these years.

With a smile, she leaned down to place a quick kiss just to the left of his lips, then straightened again. He chuckled, but smiled, their hands both still holding the small bouquet. "No, Lee, thank *you.*" She nodded at the bouquet. "I know what this means, and I know how difficult it was for you to get these for me."

His hand moved up from the bottom of the bouquet to softly caress the delicate petals of the roses as he appeared to ponder his reply. "My disgust for the smell was based upon a past incident that had not been fully laid to rest. Now that Dorothy's death has been avenged, it's time for me to put that past behind me."

He avoided her eyes as he spoke, but lifted them when he finished. For a moment, her breath caught in her throat at the naked uncertainty and helpless look in his eyes. He looked like a little boy who was begging for someone to take his hand and tell him that everything was going to be all right, that laying the past to rest would open up a whole new world of excitement for him, and not fear. Quite a lot had happened recently, and his resiliency had been tested more than any man should have to endure.

She reached out and placed her right hand on his left shoulder, then gave it a little squeeze. Their gazes locked. "Lee, what you were forced to deal with in this case would have been hard for anyone. You have every right to be affected by everything that happened." He started to protest, but she lifted her hand to place a finger over his lips. When she knew he wouldn't say anything, she removed her finger and placed her hand back over his, then continued. "Those women were all friends of yours at one time or another, and it was a cruel thing for Serdeyich to use them to get to you." She pinned him with a look. "But, Lee, you were dealing with a man who had no heart."

"A man who wanted me to kill Barnes, kill the Wizard, because he was getting too close to the Tin Man," Lee added, his voice taking on a hard edge. "A man who would stop at nothing, even stooping so low as to bring a woman back from the dead who he knew meant a lot to me!"

He slammed his fist on the desk. Amanda gasped and jumped a little at the vibration. His gaze immediately shot upwards, and his anger visibly receded. With a sigh, he ran his right hand through his hair, then slumped back in the chair, his shoulder slipping from her reach.

"Amanda, I'm sorry. I just can't believe that I allowed Serdeyich to get to me that way, but you have to hand it to him. He was good at his work. He set me off on the trail of Barnes almost from the start, and I played right into his hands."

Amanda placed the bouquet carefully on the desk and clasped her hands in her lap. "Yes, but you also took a step back and figured out that it wasn't Mr. Barnes, after all, and that's what led you to back to that airfield."

"Well, I wouldn't have even had the presence of mind to consider any of that if you hadn't been there to listen to me vent my frustrations and anger." Leaning forward in the chair, he reached for both of her hands, and a soft look entered his eyes. "I know I told you how much I appreciated you being willing to talk, but it really did mean a lot to me to know that you cared enough to be there. If it wasn't for you, I never would have gone to see Phaff, the shrink!" A slight grin formed on his lips, and Amanda began to see the old, familiar Lee once more.

She smiled and squeezed his hands a little. "And I never would have found out about the history behind your codename," she bantered in return. "Not to mention having the privilege of going through one of your infamous black books to contact the ladies you've known." She started to smile at the look of apology again in his eyes at the mention of his black books, but then his eyes changed, and his features appeared to tense.

"Yeah, well, if you hadn't done that, Serdeyich never would have found you or made an attempt on your life!" he ground out, speaking between clenched teeth.

She squeezed his hands again, only this time to get his attention. "Yes, but if he hadn't made that attempt and hadn't been so close, I wouldn't have been as interested in helping and wouldn't have accessed the files to find out a little bit more about you."

"Which means you wouldn't have known where I was headed to meet Barnes, and you wouldn't have been there to use your Russian to cause that diversion!" He nodded as the corners of his mouth turned up. "Which reminds me ... what made you access those files, anyway?"

Amanda looked down and felt a little embarrassed to admit what she had done, but there was no reason to hide it, now. "I did it to find out more about the case." She shrugged.

"Hmm." A contemplative look entered his eyes. He abruptly released her hands, then stood and walked around his desk to pace back and forth in front of it. Amanda shifted her position to watch his movement. "I can see we're going to have to be a little more careful with what we give you from now on," he teased. "We can't have you accessing classified information on our pasts. Who knows what might turn up?"

"Oh, Lee," she placated, "you know I would only do something like that when I felt it was necessary, and in this instance, I felt it was. You were being so tight-lipped about everything, bottling up your emotions and not telling anyone anything, that I was worried about you. So, I took a look at the Oz file to see if I could find something in there that would give me a clue as to what was really bothering you."

He stopped his pacing and looked at her. "And did you?"

She looked down briefly, then lifted her head and met his gaze. "Well, some, yes," she confessed. "But the rest you told me, right after I pointed out that you weren't a superman, that you were a..." She paused and looked down again. She was about to say right after she had told him what a special man he was, but something made her stop. Not that she didn't think he was; on the contrary, she did, and a part of her was afraid to admit what that really meant. It was all right to tell him that when they were discussing the case and he was revealing some of his long-hidden feelings, but here in the Q-Bureau, alone ... well, it wasn't the time or place.

"Right after..." His voice interrupted her thoughts, and she looked up at him with a blank stare. He placed one hand in his pocket and waved his hand in the air as if encouraging her to continue her train of thought. "You started to say, 'right after...'," he repeated, drawing out the final word to let her finish the sentence.

"Oh! Right after you mentioned seeing Dorothy on that bus," she finished, quickly inserting something else besides what she had almost said.

"Ahh!" He smiled, and Amanda knew he didn't believe her. He had been there for that conversation. He knew full well what she had been about to say, but he allowed her to save face, and she was grateful to him for that. "So..." he drew out, placing his other hand in his pocket and looking directly at her. "Where do we go from here?"

For a moment, Amanda just stared at him. His question could be interpreted in several different ways, and she didn't know which way to take in her reply. On one hand, she could continue with the subject of Lee bottling up his emotions and how unhealthy it was to do so, how eventually, the bottle was going to become too full and burst. On the other hand, she could point out the changes in their relationship and how much closer they seemed to be, how much more he seemed to trust her, and her him. Of course, she could also take the practical side of things and pretend nothing had changed, even though she knew things had.

Opting for safe and practical, she replied. "Well, I suppose I should file this Serdeyich report," she said, lifting the manila folder, "and you should get back in touch with Mr. Barnes, to make certain your friendship hasn't received any scars."

"Yeah, it sure has taken a beating these past few days, no doubt about that!" He shook his head. "Anything else?" One eyebrow raised as he gave her a pointed look.

She knew he was baiting her, and doing so purposefully, so she decided that two could play at this game. "I don't know, Stetson," she began, lifting her eyebrows and shrugging, "what do you think?"

"What do I..." He stopped and looked at her. It was obvious he hadn't expected her to turn the tables on him, and he wasn't prepared with a response. She proudly gave herself a mental chalkmark point and waited to hear how he would get himself out of this one.

All of the sudden, his entire demeanor changed, and he removed his hands from his pockets. With cat-like grace, he approached where she was sitting. He placed one hand on either side of her and laid them flat-palmed on the desk surface, then leaned in close to her, their faces only inches apart and the end of his tie touching her skirt. She could feel his breath on her face and wanted to back away, but she had nowhere to go. If she was honest with herself, what she really wanted to do was...

"Why don't we have dinner tonight and figure it out?"

The husky timbre of his voice wasn't much above a whisper, and Amanda fought against the shiver that threatened to run down her spine. Her throat felt very dry. She swallowed and tried to get some moisture to form, although she didn't know why. It wasn't as if she had any sort of response for him at the moment, so what did it matter if she wasn't able to find her voice?

"I...uh..." she managed to croak.

Suddenly, he pushed himself away from the desk and reached up to straighten an already perfect tie. "On second thought," he began, stepping around her to retrieve his suit jacket from the back of his chair, "I think maybe I will go find Barnes and have that little talk."

In silence, Amanda watched as Lee walked back around in front of her and shrugged into his jacket, situating it in just the right way, so that it fell perfectly from his shoulders. He took a few steps towards the door, opened it, then turned back to face her just before he stepped into the hall.

"Guess dinner will have to be some other time!" He grinned, then disappeared around the corner.

"Ooohh! That man!" she grated out in frustration, finally able to find her voice and say something, only it was too late. She really wanted to give him a piece of her mind when he was still in the office, not after he had left. What good would talking to the walls do? Well, it made no sense for her to sit around and wait for him to come back, which probably wouldn't be for a while. She might as well get some more filing done, and the first one to be put in the drawer was the one from this most recent case.

With a hop off his desk, she slowly walked towards the filing cabinet and flipped open the folder. Her eyes scanned what Lee had written as the closure to the case. Curiosity pushed her to also read the details of the account as her mind dwelled on all that she had learned about him during this case. They really had taken a big step in their relationship with this one. He had opened up to her in a way that she was certain he hadn't to anyone else. She knew she could count him a very good friend and felt certain he would say the same about her. Then again, after his parting comment a moment ago, she wasn't so sure. "Twenty-five months and two weeks!" Amanda shook her head and rolled her eyes as she opened the drawer and filed the Serdeyich report.

"Make that three weeks!"

Lee's voice suddenly sounded from the doorway, and Amanda jumped, startled after she thought he had left. She turned and saw him casually leaning his weight on his hand which grasped the doorknob, his body half in and half out of the office and his right hand in his pocket. She pursed her lips and gave him what she hoped was a glare as she shook her head and seethed under her breath. His only response was a quick wink and a grin before he disappeared again. This time, he closed the door completely behind him.

She kept close watch of the door and half-expected him to come back in. After a moment, she knew that he really was gone. With a rough shove, she closed the drawer and marched back over to his desk, where another stack of folders waited to be alphabetized and filed. Rather than dwell on her irritation at Lee, although she couldn't help but grin at his antics, she decided to immerse herself in work. That's all she needed to keep her mind off of him, and she intended to do just that.

Besides, the only thing that thinking about him would bring is trouble, and that was one thing she didn't need right now. It was bad enough to deal with him on a daily basis. It was worse to deal with her thoughts about him as well. Well, there was plenty of time for that. "Don't worry, Stetson. This isn't over yet," she promised, a mildly threatening tone to her voice and a knowing grin on her lips.

(THE END)

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