For personal use and select distribution only © July 2002 by Amber Stockton

Where We Belong (2)

Amazed he had made it home in one piece, Lee brought the 'Vette to a screaching halt in front of his apartment building and shut off the engine. For a moment, he just sat there and thought about what had transpired that evening, then he wrenched open the door and got out.

"Damn it!" he exclaimed when he heard the bell and looked down to find his keys in the ignition again. Just the simple act of retrieving his keys brought Amanda's face to his mind as he closed the door and headed for the stairs in front of the building.

As soon as he entered his apartment, Lee tossed his keys on the table and slammed the door closed. He immediately walked over to the bar and poured himself a double scotch, then tossed the drink down his throat, but the familiar warmth and burn of the liquor did little to soothe him. Filling the glass again, he carried the bottle with him over to the couch and set it on the coffee table. His entire body was tense, and he sank back into the softness of the couch, careful not to spill the scotch as he settled into the cushions. He swirled the liquid in the glass and watched the light from the lamp shimmer off the surface.

After another long drink, he allowed his gaze to travel around what he could see of his apartment. Every piece of furniture, every place in the rooms within his view, every potted plant and wall hanging -- they all reminded him of Amanda. He couldn't look anywhere without seeing her beautiful face, her mesmerizing brown eyes, or her smile that lit up a room. Draining the glass again, he leaned forward and reached for the bottle once more. It had been well over a year since he had done this, but it had also been well over a year since he had felt this way.

"Amanda, what happened to us?" He spoke to the empty space around him, as if his words would magically bring her back to him. His voice was a pain-filled whisper as he gazed into the cold fireplace across the room from where he sat. "How did we let it get this far?"

He took another drink, and his eyes saw the gold band around his left finger. It was a symbol of the commitment he had made to her, of the love and protection he had promised her, and here he was, sitting in his apartment ... alone. It was times like these when he wished his parents were still with him to help him understand the ups and downs of marriage. He never had an example to use as a comparison, and he felt like he was completely out of his league.

The scotch started to take effect, but his mind went back to the argument which had taken place about two hours ago. It felt like much more time had passed, but he knew it hadn't. The words they had spoken to each other in the heat of the moment came crashing back to him, and he cringed at some of the things he had said.

"No wonder she stormed out of here without a backwards glance!" He stood and, with glass in hand, walked down the hall to the bedroom and sighed. He'd been a heel, and he knew it, but he couldn't bring himself to take full responsibility for everything. (((add more backstory here)))

The window on the far wall beckoned him, and he made his way over to it, brushing aside the curtain as he looked out of the window and up at the night sky. The lights from the cars in the street below and the other buildings hindered his clear view, but his gaze still sought the bright light of the North star.

Feeling a distant but tentative connection to Amanda, he sighed. "I guess we really botched this one, huh?"

As he gazed into the night, he felt his tense muscles relax for the first time since their disagreement had begun. Things looked pretty bad now, but they'd been in worse situations before, and they always managed to get themselves out of those. There was no doubt in his mind that they would get through this, too. It might mean more disagreements and more pent-up emotions finding their release, but something told him that they'd work it out.

Lee let the curtain fall back into place, then returned to the living room and sank onto the couch once more. He drained his glass for the third time and lowered it to rest on his leg. Although he had begun to relax a little, his emotions were still raw, and he was no closer to coming up with a solution to the problem between him and Amanda than he was when she had first mentioned it. Lowering his head, he ran his hand haphazardly through his hair and groaned. His other hand clenched around the stem of the glass he held, and he raised his head to stare blankly at the wall in front of him.

"Ah, to hell with it all!" In a fit of anger and frustration, he threw the empty glass at the fireplace, stiffening as it shattered against the stone walls, the broken pieces falling around the wood he always kept there.

Almost to the point of exhaustion, he shifted positions and leaned his head back on the pillow propped against the headrest, then extended his legs to the other end of the couch. The combination of the three glasses of scotch and the complete feeling of discouragement over his present circumstances took its toll on him, and he found it impossible to keep his eyes open. Slipping into the welcome sleep, his last conscious thought was of his wife.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

"Amanda!"

Lee sat up with a start, his breathing heavy and his heartbeat erratic. He cleared the cobwebs from his foggy mind, then rubbed his hands across his face and eyes and forced himself to focus. The first thing his eyes saw was the near-empty bottle of scotch on the coffee table in front of him, and the events of the previous night came crashing back to him in blinding reality. A glance at the windows and the light in the apartment was proof that it was well past dawn. He stood and stretched the kinks out of his back and shoulders, trying to figure out what had awakened him. The ring on his hand reminded him of the dream he had been having a moment ago, and he remembered why he woke up. Something was wrong, and it had to do with Amanda.

Unable to quell the apprehension he felt, he headed for the bathroom to pull himself together, then grabbed his keys and left. He made it to Amanda's house in record time, and barely brought the car to a halt before getting out and rushing to the front door. A quick jiggle of the handle revealed that it was locked, so he knocked a few times, the anxiety building with each passing second. When no one answered, he glanced over at the driveway to see the Wagoneer still in the same place it had been last night, so he walked around the side of the house to investigate.

Upon first glance, everything appeared to be normal. He knew everyone was gone, but if they had left, the car wouldn't still be parked in the driveway. Then, there was the bowl of what looked like ice cream sitting on the counter, and the evidence of many other things that had been left unattended. He knew how conscientious Amanda was about a clean house, and the current state of the kitchen and living room only lent proof to his premonition.

Using his key, he unlocked the back door and let himself into the house and scanned everything in sight for some sign of what had happened. "Amanda!" His gaze finally rested on a lone piece of paper by the telephone. He walked over and lifted the paper into his hand. A hastily scrawled note to him from Philip told him that there'd been an accident and Amanda was in the hospital. A halfhearted smile formed on his lips at the fact that Philip had left the note inside the house and not taped to the front door.

Shoving the note into his pocket, Lee made sure to lock the back door again as he raced around front to his car and sped to the hospital. He rushed through the revolving door and headed straight for the nurse's station.

The woman behind the counter gave him a polite smile. "Can I help you?"

Impatience and worry almost overwhelmed him, but Lee forced himself to remain calm. "A woman was brought in at some point during the night."

"Do you know her name?"

"Yeah, it's Amanda S...King."

"Are you family?"

"I'm her h..."

"Lee!" Dotty's voice interrupted him, and he turned to face Amanda's mother. "Oh, thank goodness you're here!" She wrapped her arms around him as soon as she reached him.

"Dotty, what happened? Where's Amanda?" He pulled back and looked down.

"Lee, she was hit by a car last night. It was a hit and run, and she's still in surgery. From what they've managed to tell me, it's nothing overly serious, but she lost a lot of blood. I've been here since eleven last night. Joe and Carrie brought the boys early this morning after I had the presence of mind to call him and tell him what had happened. I tried calling you, but there was no answer at your apartment. I would have tried again, but I was so overwhelmed with everything that had happened, and..."

"Dotty, it's all right." Lee interrupted her rambling and placed a reassuring hand on her arm. "Why don't we go find Joe and Carrie and the boys and sit with them. There's obviously nothing we can do until Amanda's out of surgery."

"Yes, yes, you're right, Lee. I really am glad you're here." Dotty wrapped both her arms around his right as they headed back for the waiting room.

Lee forced himself to remain calm, for Dotty's sake, even though every fiber in his being wanted nothing more than to burst through the doors of that emergency room, flash his badge and demand to see his wife. He mentally cursed himself for not looking at the answering machine before he left his apartment that morning. It would have saved him the trip to Amanda's, and he could have gotten here sooner. As they entered the waiting room, he slipped his left hand into his pocket to hide the evidence of his true association with Amanda and pasted what he hoped was a reassuring but subdued expression on his face. Philip and Jamie were asleep and stretched out across several of the orange and green chairs. Joe stood as soon as he entered, and the two men shook hands. Carrie stood up beside him, and Lee extended his hand towards the woman who fell about five inches shy of Amanda's height, but had the same kind eyes and warm smile.

"You must be Carrie."

"Yes, and you must be Lee," she replied as she placed her hand in his.

"Yeah, glad to meet you. I only wish it was in better circumstances." She gave him an understanding smile, then slipped her hand into the crook of Joe's arm. Lee couldn't help but notice the ring that glistened off her left hand and felt a stab of jealousy that they were able to declare their relationship to everyone without worrying about the consequences. Now was not the time to think about that, though, so he forced his mind to dwell on more important matters.

"Lee, how did you find out about Amanda?" Dotty asked from where she had taken a seat next to Jamie. "Did you get the message I left?"

"No, I missed it. There was a note at the house this morning."

"Yeah, Philip insisted that he write one when I came to get them. We weren't sure if you were going to find it," Joe remarked.

"Well, I had this bad feeling when I woke up this morning, so I headed straight for the house." He began to pace a little as Joe and Carrie sat back down, then stopped when he felt all eyes upon him. "You mentioned that you've been here since eleven last night. Has Amanda been in surgery that long?"

Dotty jumped in to reply. "Oh no! When they first brought her in, they didn't want to operate right away, since she had lost so much blood. They had to replace that first. Then, one of the nurses came out to tell me that she was in shock from the trauma, so they had to wait a little longer. Joe arrived with the boys a little before three, and they tried to stay awake, but they finally fell asleep about two hours later. Around five, the nurse came out to say that they were preparing her for surgery. That's the last I've heard from them and that was..." she paused to look at her watch, "about four hours ago."

"Look, I'm going to take a walk. I'm sure we'll be hearing something soon, so I'll be back."

Dotty smiled. "All right. We'll come find you if we hear anything."

"Thanks." Lee nodded, then left the room and got away from the curious eyes that seemed to see right through him. He wasn't ready to face all of them ... not yet. Maybe after all of this was over, he and Amanda could finally come to terms with her family, but until then, he had to keep their true relationship a secret. He pulled his hand from his pocket and flexed his fingers. With a sigh of regret, he slowly slipped the band off and slid it into the smaller right-front pocket of his jeans, then went in search of a phone.

With coffee cup in hand, he walked to the pay phones, thankful they were at the opposite end of the hall from the waiting room. No need for anyone in Amanda's family to hear his conversation. He put the money in the slot and punched the numbers. "Billy! It's Scarecrow..." he said as soon as the section chief answered.

"Lee, what's wrong? You don't sound good."

"I'm not, Billy. Amanda ..."

"What happened?"

"She was hit by a car last night. I'm at the hospital now, and she's still in surgery, but I wanted to let you know she probably won't be in to work for a few days, maybe longer."

"Is it serious?"

"The doctors haven't been out to tell us anything. Amanda's mother told me the report looked good, and that the doctors didn't seem too concerned. I have a feeling she was very lucky with this accident."

"Anything reported?"

"Not yet. I only just arrived not long ago, and I spoke with her family first. I certainly didn't want to flash my badge in front of all of them."

"Good idea. How about the police? Any paperwork there?"

Lee could tell Billy was hedging. "Billy, what's up? Why all this interest?"

"Well, not to give you anything more to worry about, but..."

"What is it, Billy? Something to do with the case?"

"Yeah. Jessup was on the prowl this weekend. It seems they're running their operation out of some house in the suburbs, but that's not all. Guess where they were last seen?"

Lee didn't have to guess. "Amanda's."

"That's why I was asking about more information."

Lee was about to reply when he saw a doctor come out of the emergency room and head for the waiting room. "Billy, I'm going to have to call you back. The doctor just came out of surgery. If you need to get in touch with me, just leave me a message, and I'll check them throughout the day."

"Okay ... and Lee? Amanda's going to be all right."

Lee could hear the underlying care in the voice of the man who had become a close friend over the years. "Thanks, Billy." Lee hung up the phone, then grabbed the Styrofoam cup from the shelf under the phone and covered the distance to the waiting room in record time.

"She'll be moved to her own room shortly, but it's all still touch and go for the next couple of hours until she awakens from the anesthesia and we can more fully ascertain the extent of her injuries. From what we could determine, there's no broken bones, but there are one or two severely bruised ribs. There was also some swelling around her lower back, but the x-rays didn't show anything out of the ordinary." Lee watched the doctor's gaze fall on everyone in the room, including him. "That's all we know for now, but I don't think there's reason for any major concern. She came through surgery with flying colors. That's one lucky lady in there. Most hit-and-run accidents don't have such encouraging results."

"Thank you, doctor," Dotty replied, standing and coming to clasp his hand between both of hers. "We appreciate all you've done."

"Mrs. West, I'm as grateful as you that your daughter fared so well." He pulled his hand from hers and stepped back. "We'll let you know when she's in her own room and is able to receive visitors."

The mood in the little room changed considerably after the doctor left. Lee could almost feel the rush of air as everyone released the breath they'd been holding while they waited for the prognosis. Now, he didn't know if he should sit and wait and go do some investigating on the reports that were filed with Amanda's paperwork, maybe even place a call to the police department about the accident.

"Well, now that we know she's going to be all right, why don't Carrie and I run out and get us all some breakfast, huh?"

"Did someone mention food?" Philip sat up and threw off the thin blue blanket the nurses had brought for him. "I'm starved! Where is it?"

"It's not here yet, sport." Lee chuckled. "Your dad just offered to go out and get it."

"Oh hey, Lee! When did you get here? Did you get my note?"

"Yeah, I got it. Thanks for leaving it."

Philip stood and walked over to him, wiping his eyes to clear the sleep from them. "Hey man, no problem. I knew Mom would want you here. Glad you could make it." He knocked fists with Lee, then shook hands and clapped him on the back. "So, when are we leaving to get some food?"

"Right now," Joe replied. "Hey Jamie, you want to come with us?"

Jamie slowly sat up and yawned. "Where?"

"To get some breakfast."

"Sure." He placed the blanket on the chair beside him and stood, then stretched. "How's Mom doing?"

"Aw, man! I can't believe I forgot to ask! Grandma, I'm real sorry."

"Philip, I understand." Dotty came to stand next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "You probably just thought she was still in surgery, and you just woke up, so don't worry about it." She drew him to her in a brief hug, then beckoned Jamie to come and stand on her other side. Lee couldn't help but smile at how similar Amanda and her mother were. "The doctor just came in a few minutes ago to say she's out of surgery and will be in her own room very soon. Everything looks good from what they can tell. So, you two go on with your father and Carrie. Lee and I will be here when you get back." She placed a kiss on top of each of their heads, then gave them each a pat on the back.

"We'll be back as soon as we can, Dotty," Joe added and placed a kiss on Dotty's cheek.

"Thank you, Joe." Dotty squeezed his hand.

Lee watched the four of them leave, then turned to face Amanda's mother. "Well, looks like it's just us." He spread his arms out from his sides and shrugged his shoulders.

"Appears that way. You know, to be honest, I'm glad everyone's gone. I wanted the chance to tell you how glad I am to see you here. The last thing Amanda said in the ambulance before the drugs took over was your name."

She folded her arms across her chest and pinned him with a look. Lee shifted from one foot to the other, growing uncomfortable under her penetrating gaze. She may not know that she's his mother-in-law, but she was the closest thing he had to a mother, and like a mother, she could make him wilt with just a look. He had seen that same look in Amanda's eyes quite often, and when he did, he knew it was best to come clean.

"Uh ... Dotty ... look." He paused and ran his hand through his hair, trying to figure out what he was going to say. "Amanda and I ... we ... didn't exactly part last night on the best of terms."

"I know that, Lee."

"We had a little..." He stopped when her words registered. "You know that?"

"Yes, I'm not deaf or blind, even though Amanda and her boys would like to think so." Lee just stared at her in confusion, and she hastened to explain. "I was outside last night when you dropped her off ... a lot earlier than you normally do when the two of you go out to dinner. I heard the car door slam and the squeal of your tires as you drove off. I also saw Amanda's face after the accident. It was streaked with tears." Lee dropped his head, but he saw Dotty step closer and uncross her arms. Her hands reached out and lightly wrapped around his elbows, and he looked up. "I'm not trying to intrude, but I know something's been eating at both of you for quite some time. Now, things might not look so good right now, but I know she loves you, and you love her. You'll get through this, but it won't be without some compromising from both of you," she paused and smiled, "and goodness knows, that won't be an easy thing for two stubborn people like yourselves," she added.

Despite the seriousness of the situation, Lee gave her a half-grin, then freed his arms from her grasp and reached down to clasp her hands in his. "Thank you, Dotty." He leaned down and kissed her cheek, mustering as much of a smile as he could manage.

"Everything will work out. You'll see," she replied with a confident smile of her own.

"Mrs. West?"

"Yes?"

Lee turned around to find one of the nurses he had seen coming in and out of the emergency room earlier standing in the doorway to the waiting room.

"The doctor sent me to tell you that your daughter is in her room, and you can go in to sit with her if you like." She looked at Lee. "I'm afraid they're only allowing one person at a time, though." Her eyes shifted back to Dotty. "She's in room two-forty-one. You can check in at the nurse's station on that floor."

"Thank you."

Once the nurse left, Dotty turned to him again. "Lee, would you..."

"No, you go ahead," Lee interrupted. "I have some phone calls to make and should probably get in touch with work to let them know about Amanda. Besides, someone should be here when Joe, Carrie and the boys come back, and you should be the first one to spend some time with your daughter," he added.

"Bless you." She gave his hands a squeeze. "I'll be sure to come down and let everyone know about any progress."

"Okay."

He watched Dotty leave, then mobilized himself into action. Now it was time to get to the bottom of this.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

"Yeah, that's what I said, Billy." Lee spoke into the phone almost two hours later. "I got the sergeant at the precinct to show me the report that was filed. Thanks to Jim Peterson, we got a license plate number..."

"Which turned up as belonging to a stolen car."

"Yes, but some further digging revealed that there'd been two reports of seeing that car since it had been reported, and both times, it was driven by the same man. Before last night, the last time the car had been seen was parked out front of a record store off M Street. There's been reports of some illegal dealings happening near there." Lee paused and heard Billy talking to someone who had come into his office. "Anything good?" he asked as soon as he heard the person leave.

"Well, thanks to your information, we've also got an address where the car was seen parked, under a cover."

Lee slapped his thigh and smiled. "Great! This may be the break we need."

"Now, hold your horses, Lee. You're not going to charge out there and bust these turkeys without us sending out a team to do some surveillance first."

"Yeah, I know, but you'd better keep me up to date. I want this guy, Billy."

"I know you do, but I think you need some time to cool off. I don't want you doing anything out of revenge. You need a clear head in handling these guys. They've been dealing in drugs and weapons and classified information for months, so they're not some rookies off the street. They're real pro's."

"I know that, Billy, but..."

"But, nothing. That man who hit Amanda targeted her because he found out she was somehow involved in the investigation."

"My guess is that he found a way to call up what she used to access the computer files during her research, then located her name and address and had her place watched. It's happened before."

"Right, so you know they're not messing around. That's why I've sent the team out to have a look around. They'll report back as soon as they find anything. In the meantime, why don't you go and spend some time with Amanda? How is she anyway?"

Lee sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "To be honest, Billy, I'm not a hundred percent sure. The reports came back as positive, she's been moved to her own room, and she's been able to have visitors, one at a time. I've only been in to see her once, but she was still asleep."

"Why didn't you stay?"

"Her entire family was here, Billy. I wasn't about to take time away from them seeing her. There's her mother and the boys, not to mention Joe and his wife. Besides, I got a lot accomplished by letting them have more time. We may actually be able to nab these guys ... and soon. So, my sacrifice was time well spent."

"Yes, but now you need to take a break. I'm sure Amanda's wondering where you are."

"Maybe not," he mumbled.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"Problems again, Scarecrow?"

Lee could hear the concern mixed with a hint of teasing in Billy's voice. "Problems? No, not really. Nothing that can't be fixed, anyway."

"Well, that's good to hear. I don't like seeing my best team at odds with each other. It's bad for my blood pressure," he teased.

Lee shook his head. "Yeah, well, I think that's my cue to get off this phone and head on upstairs."

"I'll let you know when the team reports anything."

"All right. Thanks, Billy."

"Sure thing."

Thankful to be done with the phone calls and business, at least for now, Lee hung up the phone and headed for the elevator. When he stepped off on the second floor, he looked for the room numbers to figure out where Amanda was.

One of the nurses spoke out. "Can I help you?"

"Yeah, I'm here to see Amanda King. She's in room two-forty-one."

"Sign in, please." Lee stepped up to the counter and printed, then signed his name, and wrote the time. "She's down that hall, last door on the left."

Lee glanced in the direction the nurse pointed. "Thanks." No sooner had he taken two steps when he heard Dotty's voice.

"Lee! Oh, thank goodness I found you!"

She approached him, breathing heavily. "Dotty, what's wrong?" He led her over to a small set of chairs against the wall, then joined her. "Sit and catch your breath."

"Thank you." After several deep breaths, she looked up at him. "I've been looking all over for you."

"I was taking care of some business and making some phone calls. What's wrong? Has something happened to Amanda?"

She nodded. "There's been a complication."

A feeling of dread settled into the pit of stomach. "Complication?"

"The boys were allowed to go in together a little while ago, and Amanda was awake enough to talk to them. She had stirred a little when I was with her, and when Joe went to see her, but she never spoke to us. When she was talking with the boys, she tried to shift her position and found that she couldn't move her legs ... she couldn't even feel them!"

"I thought the doctors said there weren't any serious problems from the x-rays or from the tests they ran."

"They did, but this was something they couldn't fully determine while she was still under the effects of the drugs. The doctor did say there was some swelling, but without her reaction, they couldn't have known for sure."

Lee tried to let it all sink in, but a part of him refused to believe it. There was no way Amanda could be paralyzed. He wouldn't even allow his thoughts to dwell on that. "So, what does this mean?" he rasped.

"Well, Jamie came running out, almost in tears, and we called for the doctor right away. Dr. Adams went in to examine her and came out not long after to report that the swelling they had found earlier was right near her spinal cord, and the accumulation of fluids was pressing on the spine, causing the nerves to be unresponsive." Lee started to respond, but Dotty held up a hand. "Now, I know that doesn't sound good. I thought the same thing when he told me. However, he said it's temporary, as long as Amanda does the exercises prescribed for her. The swelling should go down in a matter of days, and she'll be as good as new."

"So, what's the problem?"

"Lee, she's not giving it her best. She listens to the doctor and nurses, but she seems to be putting out only half the effort she normally would."

"So, what are we going to do?"

"Well, that's why I was trying to find you. I want you to try with her."

"Dotty, I don't think..."

"Now, hear me out," she interrupted, and Lee closed his mouth. "I know the two of you are having your problems right now, but I also know it's not the first time. You've always been able to get through to her. So, please try ... not only for me, but for Amanda, too?"

Lee looked into her face and saw the hope that flickered in her eyes. He had already decided to try to work things out with Amanda, but how responsive was she going to be now? This recent complication wasn't exactly helping matters, but he'd never run from a challenge. Dotty was counting on him, and Amanda obviously needed him. What other choice did he have?

After a couple of moments, he nodded, and Dotty leaned forward to embrace him. "Oh, Lee, thank you! I know you can do it!"

With a sigh, Lee stood and faced the direction of the room where Amanda was. Another glance at Dotty, and he started the long walk down the hall. With each step, he felt his apprehension grow, but he also tried to remain positive. It wouldn't do either of them any good if he walked in with a hopeless expression on his face. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he stopped outside of Amanda's room. Bracing himself, he took a deep breath and pushed on the door.

Seeing Amanda looking so helpless brought back memories of when she had been shot on their honeymoon. The hesitation he had felt before going into her room then, was the same feeling he had now. He remembered the fear that had nearly paralyzed him when he got his first glimpse of Amanda concealed under the oxygen tent. The images of how helpless she had looked and how she had been fighting for her very life with every breath all came back in a flash. Now, she was fighting for an entirely different reason. Somehow, he had to convince her to give it her all. If she wouldn't do it for them, at least she could do it for her boys and for herself.

As he watched the rise and fall of her chest, his gaze moved to her face, peaceful in sleep. At least this time, no part of her was concealed from his view. He longed to step up to the bed and tenderly brush back the hair that fell across her forehead. She was lying on her back with her arms on top of the covers and at her sides, the sheets tucked around her slim form. Despite the desire to go to her, he found his feet frozen to the floor. His mind kept telling him that it was his fault she was here, his fault they had parted on such bad terms, his fault she had been in such a state that she had felt the need to go for a walk last night.

If only he hadn't been so stubborn. If only he hadn't let his anger get the best of him. She might be at home with her boys or at the flea market with her mother, looking for antique pitchers and basins. Instead, she was lying here, helpless ... and it was all his fault. No, his mind told him. It wasn't all his fault. She had gotten just as upset with him and had allowed her anger to get the best of her, too. She played an equal part in the current state of their relationship, and he wasn't going to allow his own guilt to overshadow that. However, she was the one that was now paying the price for everything. It should be him in that bed, not her. She didn't deserve this.

"Mmm."

Lee's gaze immediately went to her face, and he saw her smack her lips several times, then watched her eyes flutter. Daring to take a few steps, he approached the side of her bed and quietly sank into the chair next to it as he waited for her to come fully awake. Her hand lifted to her face to brush back her hair, and her eyes began to focus on her surroundings. He fought the desire to lean forward and take her free hand in his and whisper words of endearment to her. It had been less than twenty-four hours since their argument, but everything that had happened since had really caused him to think twice about their situation. Now, all he wanted to do was make amends and get things back to normal, so they could move forward with their lives.

After several moments, her gaze finally met his. He caught the spark of gladness in her eyes before it disappeared, only to be replaced by a veil of indifference. He felt his hope begin to fade, but was determined not to give up without a fight. "Hi," he said softly, giving her a slight grin.

"What are you doing here?"

He ignored the bite to her words. "I came to see you."

"Where's Mother and the boys?"

"Your mother is out in the hall, and Joe and Carrie took the boys to their place for a few hours. They'll be back later." He leaned forward a little. "How are you feeling?"

"How do you think I'm feeling?" (((soften Amanda a little and make her more emotional, not so harsh)))

"Well, your mother told me about the swelling, but she also told me what the doctor said about it being only temporary."

"They just tell you that to avoid having to be honest."

"What makes you say that?"

"Lee, I can't move my legs. I can't even feel them!" she exclaimed, her voice getting louder.

Although she was angry, the spark in her eyes was the first sign of the Amanda he knew and loved. "But, if you do what the doctor prescribed, it will relieve the pressure and the swelling will go down. I can help with the exercises," he offered.

"You don't owe me anything, and I don't want your pity or you feeling like you're obligated in some way."

"I'm not here because I feel obligated, and I'm not the one who feels sorry for you. You do."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Look at yourself." He gestured with his arm towards her. "You're just lying there, completely refusing to do anything to improve your chances or your condition." He reached out and grabbed her left hand. "Now, come on, Amanda. Where's the fight I know you've got in you, the fight that helps you keep going, even when all of the cards are stacked against you?" He pinned her with an intent stare, and for a moment, he thought he saw a flash of life spark in her eyes. A moment later, it was gone, and he released her hand to lean back in the chair. "The way you are now is not the woman I know and love, and certainly not the one I married. You won't talk to the doctors, you ignore the nurses, and you won't even listen to your own mother."

She stared at him for several moments, and he could have sworn she swallowed several times before she opened her mouth. "Well, maybe that's because I'm just not in the mood to talk."

He could hear the slight catch in her voice and knew it was only her way of denying that he was right. "Amanda..."

"No, Lee. I don't want to discuss this. Please," she said softly. "Just go."

"But..."

"Just go," she repeated and turned her head away from him.

Lee watched the tear fall from her eye and felt his heart nearly break at the sight of her. All he wanted to do was sit on the bed and hold her in his arms, tell her how much he loved her and tell her everything was going to be all right. All he wanted was to have his Amanda back, but although she lay only five feet from where he stood, she was a million miles away, and he had no idea how to reach her. He sighed in dejection, allowing his gaze to linger on her for a moment longer before finally turning to leave. It wasn't something he wanted to do, but in her present state, he could do more for her by finding the guy who put her there than trying to talk to her when she obviously wasn't in the mood. Anything he did now would only make things worse. With the way things were between them, he was probably the last person she needed to see.

He paused at the door and turned back to look at her one more time, then slowly opened the door and stepped out into the hall. Dotty was right there when he did, but when she looked at him, the hope in her eyes disappeared, and she raised her hands to her mouth, covering her sharp intake of breath and the soft sigh that escaped her lips.

"It's almost like she's given up, Dotty. I thought I was getting through to her, but she shut me out," Lee finally said.

"I got the same thing, Lee. I've never seen her like this before. She's always been a fighter. She's always bounced back. I'm really worried about her."

"Me, too." He glanced back at the door and thought of the woman lying in bed just beyond it. "Me, too," he sighed.

go to part 3...

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